The ridiculousness that has led me here...

I started out teaching with the idea to keep a blog. However, the first months teaching isn't really the best time to pick up new hobbies. In fact, most of my old hobbies came to a grinding halt as teaching sucked the marrow out of everything else going on in my life. I made one post to a blog when I moved and that was that, until now.

The moment an administrator put a date that was out-of-date by about 6 weeks on one of my official observation documents was the moment that I decided I had to write about it. My observation took place in mid-November; my review meeting took place in the beginning of January. This is a small example of the severely broken system that I am working within. I know it's broken. Many, many people know it's broken. But working in it is still absurdly frustrating.

So I tried to blog in January when that occurred. And I failed spectacularly yet again. But third time is the charm, right?

Reflecting as a I drove home today, I realized I needed somewhere to vent other than my poor boyfriend who has nodded and listened to what probably accumulates to over 24 hours of me - talking - about school. There's got to be another audience.

Things I admit -

1. I am a first year teacher and fully realize I mostly still have no idea what I am doing
2. I yelled VERY LOUDLY, with emphasis, at a 13 year old today. I was shaking. ("Ms. Z, you turning red.")
3. I care so much that I get annoyed and decide I don't care at all, which really just leads to me complaining while putting in a lot of work to something I do care about.

So this is a project to inject positivity into what sometimes become far too negative and attempt to marry my school life and home life together in a way that is not overwhelming but instead supporting. I am scared to get too invested in work because I don't want my work to flow out of what I have so far been able to relegate to at-school and Sunday morning planning. But when it comes down to it, my work is a huge part of my life; finding a way to balance them without pushing them each into two separate corners would be healthy and, well, miraculous.